Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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