I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
