he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
