Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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