Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Actions speak louder than pants.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
