sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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