I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
