She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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