By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
