I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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