this beer tastes like vomit already
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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