that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
