how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
send nudes
from the living room?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
