I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
