Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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