Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I cannot find my penis.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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