That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
