Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
