So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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