I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
