i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's never too late to be topless.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
