Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
my poor anus
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
