tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
