summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
