Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
