Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Drunk is not a location!
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