i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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