The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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