You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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