when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
