Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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