Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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