question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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