random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
