So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
