Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
