Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
