did you get engaged???
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
