I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
