Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
