My pussy is not your playground.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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