That's intense
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
