I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
