OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
