Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
