so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
