Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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