ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
