32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
