I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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