She is in my trunk
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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