Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
