when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
